cutting vegetables, cutting a rug.

having a good day at work feels incredible. really. there was a moment when i thought my good mood might be dashed by a spell of fatigue and the appearance of gloomy weather. however, i got my second wind and the rain held off so that we could have the extra long outside time that i had planned on. i spend the last twenty or so minutes of my day dancing with bella to french children's songs. it was amazing.
last night while waiting for my dinner to finish cooking, i realized how much i appreciate the delayed gratification of cooking a decent meal for myself. this is something i never used to do. once i stopped eating meat, my mother declared that she couldn't cook for me because she was a "carnivore" and didn't know what to make for me. so, being the lazy lass i am wont to be, i subsisted for many a year on pastas and microwave meals. stouffer's macaroni and cheese was one of my favorites. (hmm...now that i think about it, i often used to eat this with steak-ums, so i guess i was into this routine prior to the whole vegetarian thing.) things didn't get much better when i started living on my own. i just assumed i didn't know how to cook because i never really did. plus i often waited until i was starving to start thinking about food. must eat now!
but over the past couple of years i've been exploring the culinary world more and more. a really helpful part of this has been the realization that i shouldn't expect to know certain things, no matter how basic, if i've never learned them. this is true in so many areas, yet i've often felt too silly to ask about things that i for some reason assumed should be inherent knowledge. plus, i can make my grandmother's day by calling to ask her how to make something.
the process has become more pleasurable. i've learned to appreciate it, and i love this new element of daily life. i am certainly caught up in the desire for instant gratification, ever exacerbated by technological advances. webpages can download in half a second instead of two seconds?? sign me up! i get antsy when my digital camera is switching over from its capture mode to its view mode. as if all these precious little milliseconds could be amassed for future use. but while i want things right now! in so many areas, i am comfortable and, in fact, pleased, to go in the opposite direction when it comes time to eat. this is a lovely development.