california benedict.

quite possibly the most amazingly delicious thing i have ever consumed. english muffin, AVOCADOS, grilled tomato, egg (usually poached, though i got mine scrambled since i cannot eat eggs when the whites and yolk are seperate), hollandaise sauce. f-ing fantastic. a necessary indulgence after a strange night's sleep. first there was waking up thinking that my friend was peeing in the closet, which would come to mind each time i woke up after that. fortunately, the morning light brought a dry closet, but i was pretty convinced of the reality of this event at certain times of my half-awakeness. i also woke myself up whining about some annoying thing happening in my dream. i wish i could sleep quietly. it's weird to have your own voice wake you up. then there was the intense shoulder pain that actually got me out of bed because i could no longer just sit there trying to pretend it didn't hurt that much. after moving it to every possible position and trying to convince myself it felt better, i got up and took some pain relief pills (i even went for the naproxen, even though there was no food in my belly. the threat of an ulcer seemed a small price to pay in exchange for the dulling of my shoulder pain), then sat up at the computer waiting for them to kick in. i couldn't even raise my arm enough to put my hair up in an elastic. and what happened to cause this, you ask? i have no idea. yes, there was the moving, but that was last weekend and this didn't start until a couple of days ago. both of my shoulders do this periodically. the last time it was the other shoulder and was a result of using the mortar and pestle to make pesto and made me feel incredibly lame. a hurt shoulder from making pesto?!?! come on. so i am starting to wonder what the hell is wrong with me. i am 27 years old, for christ's sake, i shouldn't be having this much trouble with my joints (then there's the issue of my knees locking up on occassion, also for no particular reason, which began happening in junior high school. god...the first time it happened i remember how awful it was not so much because it hurt, but because i couldn't totally straighten my leg and i had to walk around the halls of jfk jr high school all gimpified and i hated it). it has never occurred to me to ask someone about this (say, a doctor perhaps) because it seemed like one of those things that "just happens". what if i have rheumatic fever or something? is that even a real thing? did i just make that up? for some reason i think rheumatoid somehow fits with this. rheumatoid arthritis? i'm pretty sure i used to know what rheum- referred to. clearly i do not know now.
but now i think it is time to pop some more pills and go help my new roommate find a graduation dress. i have guaranteed her that i can protect her from the evils of the mall. i will cast spells to ward off the spirits. ooh....i wish i had some sort of magician's hat to wear because that would certainly help us.