suburban white girls ain't got soul.

and i can say that, being one myself. i know first hand that this is a fair generalization to make. first, let's go back a couple of weeks....
e and i went to this dance recital/ talent show thing at the middle school where her dad works, kind of as a lark. we figured that there would be entertainment on some level. but it ended up totally blowing us away. these kids were amazing. out of control. or, rather, totally in control. so many of them just had it, whatever "it" is. rhythm? soul? passion? all of those, yet none adequate enough to describe it. one of the stand-out numbers involved three rather traditional ballerinas coming out (after 3 or 4 more hip-hop kind of routines) to some famous carmen song, and it's all lovely and pretty and all that - then the beat busts in and so do a bunch of other kids doing the hip-hop stuff (i don't want to call it modern dance, because we all know that's something else, and that's what it is referred to at my little cousins' dance school, so pardon me if my terminology is lame. refer to my "suburban white girl" upbringing). excellent dichotomy. it probably could have come off really badly, but it was superbly executed. then there was the fact that there were all different kinds of kids there. being middle school, there were the under-developed and over-developed, so the age range looked even wider than it really was. they were all different sizes and shades and....genders! it was really awesome to see so many boys being so into it and serious about it and have it be completely acceptable and even respected.
flash to today. okay...completely different situation. my little cousins (7 and 10) had their recital today. (my aunt also takes a class and was supposed to be in it today, but she hurt her back. still, she's pretty awesome for doing it in the first place) first of all, it was the longest thing in the world. i actually left and came back, then left and came back again because i was way too early.
after the first set that i stayed for, i was feeling a little disheartened. it just didn't seem like these girls felt anything (except for maybe one or two). it looked like they learned a bunch of different dance moves, strung them together, and put some music on. no flow. as an audience member, i was not feeling it. yes, some of them were just teeny-tiny little kids, and i'm not expecting them to have it all together. i know it's just supposed to be cute and funny and they look at each other and mess up and act silly and then you clap and tell them how great they did. but i was just left with a feeling of emptiness throughout. one girl that actually seemed to have some rhythm and had a solo was, of course, darker skinned and i started feeling like a racist and then i started thinking about the other dance show and how it was "inner city" kids and how that translates to many minorities being the majority and blah blah blah.
so i took off for awhile, as there was a large stretch of time between cousins' performances. did i mention this recital was being held at my old high school??? oh yes. indeed it was. the southington high school fine arts auditorium i believe they call it. what a trip. it started to feel strange when i pulled into the parking lot and found it far more full than i had expected and had to find a parking space way in the back....just like old times.....
during one intermission i had a look around. of course the classrooms were closed (yes, i tried the handles), but i could still peek in those long, narrow windows with the bizarre wire-work embedded in them (why are school-door windows like that anyways?). ah....there it was ... my old photography classroom. oh, the memories..... i had planned on seeing how far from the actual event i could be able to get before everything was locked or i got in trouble, but that just didn't end up happening, what with the leaving and then with the kids around and all.
getting back too soon, i went on a little southington/ plainville adventure and ended up making a stop at the book exchange (which i believe i previously did some dissing to in a moment of frustration). this time, however, the man i dealt with was delightful. he led me right to the coveted field guides, then modified the prices of almost all of the ones i chose even when i only asked about one. he seemed pretty sure that they were marked "new" from a time since past, though i'm not sure the other guy would have been so forth-coming with the price adjustments. then once i made my final selections he pointed out that i had four and was eligible to receive a free one! i suppose it was indulgent, but i now have reference materials for all things insect, bird, wildflower, butterfly and rock or mineral related. i am an expert in training.
back to shs........
okay okay....things got a little better. i guess there were more older kids, more advanced dancers in this grouping, because i felt a little more benevolent in doling out my approval. there was some okay stuff, some actual life flowing through the dancers' veins. relief.
hmmm.....what was i getting at? not sure anymore. this sudden blast of heat has caught me off guard (though i AM NOT complaining. keep it coming, mother nature!) . i just know that should i one day have a young child who wants to take dance lessons, i'll have a lot of thinking to do. i'll end up being this crazy lady who attends every recital within a 50 mile radius. people will think i'm a pedophile, rather than a dutiful parent conducting much needed research. okay....slow down....
oh. but at then end when they all came out to take a bow there was ONE BOY! ONE BOY!!! yes, it's terrible there there was ONLY one but there was AT LEAST one is the point. it made me giddy. then i had a chat with katie about boy dancers and she thought baryshnikov was a funny name (almost a personal affront, russian obsession, but she's forgiven most anything she can possibly do).
and one more thing....one of the routines was to "she bop." now, i immediately think that this is slightly inappropriate, as these girls are probably about 9 or 10 and the song is about masturbation. but it also makes me giggle a little because it's just sort of funny. right? but i have no one to share it with. so finally i decide to lean over to my aunt and say, "do you know what this song is about?" to which she replies that she doesn't, and then i proceed to inform her, immediately wondering if that was completely inappropriate. this then causes me to sit through the rest of the number contemplating my chronological position in the family ..... i'm old enough to be considered an adult, but also still in the position of being one of the nieces, which is a younger generation. strange place to be.
i could probably come up with more revelations that occurred today, but the ones i've listed already probably aren't making sense as it is.......